This unity of experience is revealed in the way we talk about such events, words like “He made me feel bad,” “She yelled at me at the party,” etc. But the simple decomposition of discrete events (language or action by another, interpretation and emotion) shows that there is a way to stifle bad feeling in the egg by refusing to personally interpret words or deeds. In other words, if you feel bad as a result of something someone says or does (or doesn`t) about you, call the second chord. The second agreement invites us to recognize that we are all working from the point of view of our own unique experiences. My perspective is different from your point of view, and while we share a multitude of commonalities and connections, your actions, thoughts and words are not for me. Whatever a friend posts on IG, tells me over coffee or thinks about how I dress, for example, it`s not about me. (Emphasize, because it`s still pretty hard for me to see, and my guess is that I`m not alone.) When I take something that a friend does personally, I focus, I used myself, I used limited information to reach conclusions, and I ignore their experience and perspective. Besides, I tell myself lies. This post is not the place to go in each of them, and for a more complete treatment, just read the book (here and don`t wait 9 or 10 months to overcome your hooey filter), but I would like to spend some time at the 2nd convention: “Don`t take anything in person.” This is the second chord of Don Miguel Ruiz`s classic,”The Four Accords.” All of this said that if you are in friendship with someone whose words or actions harm them, it is healthy to set limits, create boundaries and honor you. You can experience great feelings, and these are all real and valid. Feeling hurt doesn`t mean taking something personal.
However, in the healing process, it will be important to practice this agreement and ensure that the person`s actions were not above you and/or your worth. Even if a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give correspond to the agreements they have in their own minds… If you take things in person, you make easy prey for these predators, the black magicians.